The importance of confidence

Confidence, like so many other things in life, is quite a complex matter that tends to be oversimplified much of the time. One very common oversimplification is to assign people to categories (along the lines of: very unconfident; unconfident; middling in confidence; confident; very confident), as if confidence is a quality that people possess in various degrees. However, there is much more to it than this. For example, different people will be confident (or not) in different contexts. I have been teaching or training for over 35 years and so I feel very confident in that ‘domain’, but I have no experience of flying an aeroplane and would be very unconfident if called upon to do so. Confidence can also vary from occasion to occasion (some days I might feel more confident than others) or circumstance to circumstance (I might feel less confident after having made a mistake, especially a significant mistake).

There are also wider social factors to consider — class, culture, gender, educational experience can all potentially have an impact on our level of confidence, as can attitudes of other people towards us. And, of course, social influences can change over time — they are not fixed and immutable. So, the idea that we have a set of level of confidence that we are in some way ‘stuck with’ is not a reasonable conclusion to draw. Self-confidence is about trust, the extent to which we trust ourselves to succeed at whatever it is we are doing (or at least make a reasonable attempt at succeeding). In those situations where we lack confidence, we are showing a lack of faith in ourselves, we are not trusting ourselves to do what is required of us in that set of circumstances.

A useful distinction to draw is between subjective and objective confidence. The former refers to the confidence we have in ourselves, while the latter refers to the confidence others have in us — that is, our level of credibility in their eyes. The two types of confidence are linked, in the sense that, if we lack subjective confidence, it is likely to be very difficult to earn objective confidence. However, if we can trust ourselves enough to earn that credibility, the fact that others have confidence in us can strengthen our subjective confidence.

So, we have to have faith in ourselves if we want others to have faith in us — and, in the people professions, we are not going to get very far if people have little or no faith in us, if we lack credibility. And, that, in a nutshell is why confidence is so important. A lack of confidence will make our job harder due to a lack of credibility, and it also likely to discourage us from learning and from being creative, thereby significantly reducing our job satisfaction.

So, if you lack confidence (or someone you support lacks confidence), what can be done? Well, because it is a complex phenomenon we are dealing with, there cannot be any simple answers, no ‘magic solutions’, although there are concrete steps we can take that have the potential to make a big positive difference. Consider the following:

• In what situations do you feel unconfident? It is important to be able to identify the types of situation that you feel most anxious or most unconfident about. Know your enemy, as it were.

• Do these situations have anything in common? Are there any patterns you can identify? It can be very helpful to identify what themes emerge: perhaps it is situations involving conflict or circumstances where there are no clear procedures to follow.

• If so, how does being aware of any such patterns help you? Be clear about what it is in these situations that is preventing you from having faith in yourself.

• Are there any steps you can take to tackle these issues positively? Becoming more aware of the changes, however small to begin with, that you can make can be a very positive step forward.

• Is there anyone who can help you or support you in doing so? Identify one or more people that you can trust to be supportive of you in developing your confidence. There is no shame in needing to be more confident in certain areas. As I explained earlier, confidence is a complex matter and not just a quality that you either have or do not.

Life constantly presents us with a set of challenges. If we lack confidence in our ability to rise to those challenges, we make our lives all the harder. We disempower ourselves and, in so doing, make it far less likely that we will be able to work in empowering ways in helping others.

Dr Neil Thompson is an independent writer, educator and visiting professor at the Open University. His Academy provides Chartered Management Institute qualifications in leadership and an annual subscription service giving access to over 60 online courses. This is available to individuals for less than £2 per course or a corporate subscription for up to 300 staff at just £3,000 +VAT — www.NeilThompson.info.